If I’d Known Then November 20, 2009
Posted by Sarah in Books, Inspiration, My 2 cents.trackback
What if you could write a letter to your younger self? What would it say? This little book contains just those letters, written by famous, successful women to their younger, struggling selves.
The question of what I would write lingers on after each letter I read. I have no doubt to when I would write – the summer after my freshman year, when a lonely, isolated girl listened to the Cure and cried herself to sleep every night. So much of what I know now would be absolutely incomprehensible to that guarded, cynical girl who was so very unloved, but that makes my letter so much more important.
Sarah,
You are unspeakably unhappy, and you do not know why. Everyone tells you that you have everything you could possibly need to make you happy. Let me tell you right now: they are wrong. You have every reason to be unhappy, and your ability to recognize this will drive you to a better life. Let me promise you a few things:
You will always be there for yourself. One of your college professors will teach the parable of the crawfish, who gets into heaven by backing out of hell. I can’t promise you heaven, but whenever you find yourself in hell, you will back yourself out of it. Every time. Your faith in yourself is one of your best qualities, and it will get you places you can’t even imagine right now.
You will not always be so heartrendingly lonely. Don’t listen to that nonsense your parents feed you about nobody liking you. Sure, you’ve had to learn people skills the hard way, and you’ll learn a lot more as you go along, but you are going to have some amazing friendships in your life.
You will discover those inner worlds that you know exist but have no idea how to access. Not through drinking, or drugs, or the mysticism of the 60s lit you’ll devour in a year or two, but through hard work and learning to trust others. That step of asking for help will be your biggest challenge, but it will also reap the biggest rewards. However, the time for asking help comes later, once you’ve left your home town. For now, bide your time and give them hell. You’ve got some glorious showdowns coming up.
Hang in there. You get through each day by promising yourself that it won’t last forever. Every day feels like an eternity, but know that you are backing out of hell as each one passes.
Love,
Your future self
PS When you’re a junior, you’ll finally meet another Cure fan. Keep an eye out for dragon pants.
Ah, you brought tears to my eyes even before I got to the dragon pants bit. We were both Cure fans, Monty Python fans, and Lit Critters in a town that really just did not get us.
That was incredible, thank you for sharing. I’m sure everyone of us could use this exercise, I know I can.
Steve Pavlina also reccomends writing to your future self. It’s a pretty interesting concept. You envision your ideal future self talking to your current self, giving you advice on how to become that person.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/08/my-favorite-meditation/
I did an exercise like this on my blog a couple of times, and found it to be very helpful.
I like the idea of writing to my future self; I hadn’t thought of that. Think I’ll give that a try!
How inspiring! One of my favorite subjects is the inner child. Thanks so much for joining us with this post for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. Appreciate your contribution.
Thanks for the book recommendation. Such a beautiful letter. I am thinking about the letter I want to write, right now. Thanks for that. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
Like Kate, I thank you for the book recommendation. I love the letter that you wrote to your younger self using the information that you have from your present self. What a wonderful exercise.
Sarah – Beautiful, wonderful post – it gives me ideas. May I post a letter to myself on my blog, siting your blog and make this a Round Robin? I don’t know how many times I have cried to my T that “if I’d only known then…” This is a way for me to say it. You can post the answer on my blog (http://shadesofivory.blogspot.com/), or here. I hope you don’t mind.
Oh, and what is “the Cure” that you write about?
Ivory
Ivory, sorry for taking so long to respond! I’ve been on a blogging hiatus. You are more than welcome to write a letter to yourself on your blog, and I’d be honored if you cited me.
The Cure is a band I listened to constantly when I was in high school. You can find some of their videos here: http://tinyurl.com/yhxz2z5
thanks for posting this to the carnival. that’s how i found your blog. i love the letter you wrote yourself and what a great idea! i’m going to have to think about this one for myself. thanks for letting others know about the book and for sharing your own letter. it was very moving and inspiring. and i can relate.
i’m so glad for you that you found healing and were able to back away from toxic situations. what a strength. it’s so important to realize the power we have to take care of ourselves and understand ourselves, even when we don’t have external validation. that’s so great that you were able to do that in your life. and find the friendships you needed :)